Music arranged, adapted and produced by Bob Houlston

Recommended listening: The Elegance of Pachelbel is a 1998 music album by Michael Maxwell, released by Avalon Records, and featuring Canon and other musical works by Johann Pachelbel. It will help you to cry out your sadness and you will sleep better for that, trust me on this.



From Heights to Depths and Somewhere In Between - By Linda Stoneman ISBN: 9781847477750 Published: 2008 Pages: 117 Key Themes: autobiography, stress, manic-depression, family support, recovery. Published by Chipmunka Publishing (A mental health publisher/social enterprise)

Description - 'From Heights to Depths and Somewhere in Between' is Linda Stoneman's first publication. A true, personal and factual account of some of Linda's life experiences, some of which she believes, triggered her bipolar disorder. Her book starts with a poem she wrote when she was in a high phase of a bipolar episode. In her introduction she discusses 'stress' and the affects of this on our bodies and minds.

Linda goes onto reflect on her life so far, highlighted by various personal experiences being a mental health patient. Vivid thoughts of what was going on in her head when psychotic to feelings of deepest despair when depressed. An insider's view of a mental health ward; and the alternative of being treated at home by the Crisis and Treatment team. (CATT). This book will appeal to fellow sufferers to compare experiences, or to someone who has no insight into bipolar but wants to learn more.

About the Author - Linda Stoneman was born in Bricket Wood, St Albans. She grew up surrounded by a very happy family living in St Albans and then Harpenden. After leaving school she was torn between training as a general nurse or training as a secretary - she chose the latter. Linda worked as a secretary for several large companies including ICI and Barclays Bank.

She married Dave in 1982, and in 1988 they had a baby - Sarah.

It was after 1988 that Linda started to suffer from depression and then bipolar disorder. With the support from all of her family and the medication, she 'lives' with her bipolar.

Book Extract - Mental health problems including postnatal depression, clinical depression, post traumatic stress syndrome, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, alcoholism and drug addiction to name a few, are very much under-estimated in general as being serious and common illnesses. In fact - by 2020, the World Health Organisation estimates mental health illnesses will be the second largest international health burden, the first being heart disease. According to the Office for National Statistics Psychiatric Morbidity report (2001), one in four British adults experience at least one diagnosable mental health problem in any one-year.

There is still great stigma attached to some one who suffers with mental health problems. People lack understanding of mental health problems. There are also people who suffer with a dual diagnosis, for example a mental health problem as well as a learning difficulty, which can be extremely difficult to treat. Sometimes sufferers may be cruelly referred to as 'nutters' or 'psychos' to name but a few labels, and are sent to the 'funny farm'.

Many people think they are immune from being affected by mental illness, but it's hard to avoid becoming another victim when our lives are surrounded by stress and life events, often unexpected and out of our control and which have an effect on our mental health.

I believe that stress and its management or poor management has a lot to do with why our health suffers. I know that some stress is good for us, and without it we would not survive; it keeps us alert, on our toes, out of danger and motivates us to do things.

When faced with a 'stressful' situation our bodies react in a flight or fight response, sometimes known as the anger and fear response. This automatic response stems back to when humans first evolved - so when as cavemen we were faced with a danger, like a wild animal threatening us, we had two choices - to physically fight the animal or to run away from it as fast as we could in order to survive.

In modern times our body reacts in the same way when faced with a 'stressful' situation, but it is socially unacceptable to physically fight, and running away is not usually a practical solution. When we cannot respond in either way, the body cannot get rid of the build up of all that energy needed in the fight or flight response. The build up of this unused energy results in STRESS or DISTRESS. If we can identify what triggers our stress, we can take steps to de-stress ourselves. Bad stress (physical or psychological) has a negative effect on our bodies and minds. All too often we may turn to excessive drinking of alcohol, binge eating, smoking or taking illegal drugs to alleviate stress, but this just puts more stress on our bodies and lulls our minds into a false sense of security.

We are all too familiar with someone who is 'stressed' and combined with other factors, may suffer a heart attack - a physical event. If you survive the attack, with the advances of medical science and treatment you could be back to 'normal' within a few weeks. There will of course be the psychological affects of suffering a heart attack to deal with. Any trauma or event we go through has a psychological effect on us, in fact anything we expose ourselves to in life, whether it is a good or bad experience has an effect in one way or another, which is then ingrained in our minds. It's important to get support not only during difficult times, but also afterwards. Health professionals are now more aware of the psychological effects of any trauma or experience - for example you now may be offered counselling after suffering a heart attack or surgery to help you cope with your feelings about the event. Furthermore, consideration should also be made to the people around the sufferer, as they will have psychological needs as well.

I believe the physical trauma during the birth of my daughter, the stress it caused and not dealing with that stress properly, eventually resulted in episodes of depression and then bipolar, which lasted for many months at a time. Bipolar disorder is well known for its recurrent nature, and having stopped my medication after recovering from the first episode, it came back to get me a second time. The 'highs' or 'manic' phases in my bipolar probably only lasted a week or so, although it's hard to judge yourself, because you are not always aware when you are in a manic phase, and people around you may not notice or be aware of the warning signals. Bipolar disorder hides inside your brain, like a fire waiting to be lit, just one spark can set it off.

During recovery, coming up from the depths, I found it very difficult to face the world - Going outside my front door, meant I was jumping back into a scary place. I did not want people to feel sorry for me or make a fuss, but then I wanted them to know that I was unwell, as I felt very embarrassed and conscious about the my inability to do things as normal. That feeling is hard to describe, I suppose it's a numb feeling and you think everyone is looking at you, but no one from the outside is really taking any notice, but you are so conscious that you just want to hide. It's as if you have to learn how to live again. If I had a broken leg in plaster, people would see the problem as it is, and accept that they could not do things as normal. Maybe having a disability visible from the outside makes it easier?

Because of my supportive family, and accepting treatment from the professionals, taking regular medication - then eventually accepting myself and my illness - I think that I am lucky, and I have recovered and living with bipolar which enables me to write this book!

The doctors say that clinical depression, bipolar and other psychiatric disorders can be caused by chemical changes in the brain. I believe for these chemical changes to occur something has to trigger that change. Sometimes, the trigger cannot be identified, but for me personally, I now believe as mentioned before that the first event or trigger happened during the traumatic events at the birth of my first child, and that is where I think my problems stemmed from. There were also buried feelings from when I suffered two miscarriages, in 1985 and 1986 respectively. I will take you through events and periods of my life that have been affected by depression and bipolar disorder. The psychiatrists who have treated me could or would not give me definite reasons why I got bipolar, and perhaps some people are more prone than others - a genetic thing, maybe. But all I know is that it just happened to me one day, seemingly out of the blue.

I am writing this book to help me possibly understand why I was affected, reflecting on my experiences so far. Also to share with anyone who is at all interested in mental health issues in particular depression and bipolar disorder and I hope that it may be of use to some readers.

Linda Stoneman - Stevenage



The new religion

I've acquired a black tie now.
A tie for every occasion.
One to be hapless extrovert.
One to let my hair down.
Another to be sombre and cool.
Nothing can catch me out.
No one can get to me.
My new religion is in place.
Flirted with meditation,
Lost heart in sex.
Too many lonely nights
At singles clubs.
Oh but I can sleep
At nights now.
Still weep for the absence of
What is right.
Everything will be fine.
This new religion is kind
And pray it will be forever mine.

Peter Vealey - Harlow

Congratulations to Peter who has had his first book of poems, 'With Authentic Stains', published by Chipmunka publishing. Copies can be bought via the website www.chipmunkapublishing.com

Reviews:

Authentic to the bone - This book is an inspired collection of reflections about what long term depression is really like to experience. This is a poignant journey, the brevity of each poem enhancing bittersweet ponderings about emotional illness and recovery through the eyes, ears and heart of one man. Jane Grey (Essex England) 27 Feb 2009

The Feeling Poet - Peter Vealey is 'The Feeling Poet', things which the rest of us may skim over, find their way into his verse. He skilfully works his messages, moving us towards his balanced vision of society and lighting the road for us to see both the potholes and the beauty which we may have missed without his incisiveness. Always original and tenacious, I reccommend you strap on life's rucksack and go the extra mile with this feeling poet. B. M. Walker 2 Dec 2008

A journey towards self discovery - Peter Vealey has examined his feelings and responses to life's vicissitudes; stored the experiences that have shaped him and now he shares them with us through this sensitive collection. Some poems leap off the page with their vivid imagery. New Car couldn't be simpler and yet it provides a profound insight into the complexities of dead relationships and the thought processes that allow us to move on. Funeral Pyre is one of several poems that readers will return to, to read aloud and to feel again the regret of lost love and the need to seek comfort. Mag B (UK) 5 Feb 2009




Caroline Grainger - Redcar & Cleveland Mind




Caroline Grainger - Redcar & Cleveland Mind




Caroline Grainger - Redcar & Cleveland Mind



Electric Ink is a collection of my creative writings and photographs inspired by membership of mental health support groups both in the NHS and voluntary sectors. It is presented as an e-book, free of charge and available for download as a PDF file from the link below. To read the PDF you may require free reader software from Adobe. On a broadband connection the PDF may take several seconds to download, please be patient.

Electric Ink Download

Please find below a sample poem from my Electric Ink e-book:

T  4  2

Earl Grey each day seems far away,
While we are apart.

Earl Grey each day seems far away,
Always in my heart.

As you sip your tea you'll think of me,
In the cool night air you'll shiver.

As you sip your tea you'll think of me,
We will soon drink tea together.

Bob Houlston - Creative Writing Group Herts Mind Network









SEASIDE

You waved at me
and I waved back.
You bobbed up and down
and waved more urgently.

It was then that I knew
That I was losing you.
The lithe limbed lifeguard
Swam to save my sweetheart.

He flailed and fought the water
But it gave no quarter.
The sea swallowed you
At last, we were through.

Katharine Kent - Mind in Mid Herts



We want your art! Your art could be here. If you have a digital camera then take a photograph of your painting or other art, attach the image file to an e-mail and send it to me via the contact details above. If you do not have a digital camera or scanner or not sure what to do, then contact me and we will see what we can arrange for you. If you have a short joke or poem but no e-mail or want to keep your e-mail secret then telephone me on 01727 851809 and speak slowly and clearly into my answer phone machine and I will upload your input ASAP. Anything else that I have forgotten? Just let me know please, thanks! :) If you should require an easy access redirection link to this site then you may use: tinyurl.com/refugeeart See how I look after you?! ;)

I feel that maybe I should explain what I mean by "Refugee Art®". In many art groups in local Mind branches and even NHS daycentres there is simply not enough room to store all services user art work let alone display it. Sometimes the artwork is too heavy, bulky or large for the services user to carry it on the bus and even if they had a pantechnicon to transport it there would probably be no space for it at home. So, after being admired by all who see it, the artwork languishes in the studio for a while and is then unceremoniously consigned to a skip. This is what I call Refugee Art®. It could be good stuff but simply has no place to go! :@( So why not digitise it and upload it here where it will be safe in perpetuity, or at least until someone turns the Internet off! Think about it :-)) In case you are wondering the reason why I call this project Mind Out!... well, there is no reason, I just happen to like it! :) If preferred, anonymous art on this site may be displayed as: "Work done by inspirational artists".

I attend the art group at Mind in Mid Herts St Albans where we are most enthusiastic about the potential of our recovery. As part of our out-reach project, using the internet to establish contact with other mental health services users, we have created Mind Out! - Refugee Art®. We hope to encourage other mental health services users throughout the Mind network to join us in this exciting project. There are two main reasons for the existence of this Mind Out! - Refugee Art® web site. My love for web design and my love for artists. I can draw but I choose not to. I just prefer to hang out with creative people. I think artists are wonderful and deserve to be admired. Long may they prosper. When I studied at my first fine art access class in the Autumn of 1995 at The School of Art at Hertfordshire University UK I was exposed to creating digital art, for the first time, on the Uni's computers. Three years later I uploaded my first webpage to the internet and from there I studied Hyper Text Markup Language via an online course at Leeds University. I embarked on a further two years study of IT at The Paradise Training Project in Hemel Hempstead, Hertfordshire. Subsequently I studied for the European Computer Driving Licence at Oaklands College, St Albans, Hertfordshire and passed in 2005. My thirst for more knowledge was temporarily quenched when I was offered a place on a digital photography course tutored by Dave Britten of the Workers' Education Association hosted by (please, do keep up) Herts Mind Network. This gave me a good grounding in digital cameras, Paint Shop Pro 7 imaging editing software and PC maintenance e.g. installation of anti virus and firewall software and use of disk clean up and defragmentation system tools. I also attended a similar course at the NHS daycentre in St Albans. Mind Out! - Refugee Art® is the culmination of my art school experience, IT training and ten years attending art groups and education courses in mental health daycentres. Work? I simply don't have time to go to work! ;) Enjoy!

Whilst attending the Art Group at Mind in Mid Herts I overheard Peter Yeowart mutter under his breath; "My pictures are worth a thousand pounds each!" Now, I don't know much about art but I can recognize an opportunity to make money. Alright, call me a Philistine! ;) I suggested to Peter that I should be his agent at 60% to 40%. Peter was pleased at my suggestion but managed to negotiate me down to 50% to 50%. (I would have settled for 40% to 60% but don't tell him that!) Of course I intend to take 50% of the gross whilst Peter receives 50% of the net. In order to calculate the net we must first deduct my expenses which will include a mobile 'phone, a young attractive secretary and of course a car. I did at first consider a Rolls Royce but decided that it was too vulgar and have subsequently settled on a Bentley. We could call it Bob's Bentley. Do you like the alliteration? Having taken all these expenses into consideration I calculate that Peter's share, the net, will be a deficit. To put it plainly he will owe me money. But I am a fair man and after all reasonable deliberations I have spoken to Peter: "For every picture you paint, just give me a tenner and we'll call it quits." I jest of course! ;)

Promote this site by downloading and printing off attached PDF poster below and display it on your daycentre noticeboard. For optimum picture quality please use photo glossy paper but if you haven't got any then ordinary paper will do. To read the PDF you may require free software from Adobe. On a broadband connection the PDF may take several seconds to download, please be patient.

PDF Poster Download

Mind Out! - Refugee Art® is a website devoted to giving accounts, opinion and artwork from the perspectives of people who have had mental health conditions, rather than from the professional point of view. Important note: work here may not be reproduced in any form without the permission of the writer / artist. I've decided to keep running this website despite my absences caused by periods of my poor mental health and would like to thank everybody who has contributed over the years. I plan to keep this site up indefinitely as a resource and testament to the wonderful accounts, opinion, poetry and artwork submitted. I believe that mental well-being is enhanced by the power of creativity.

Usual disclaimer - The contents of this website are opinions only and do not represent a commitment. I am neither responsible for any action you do take or any action you do not take as a result of the information displayed here. Due to the volume of mail received, it is not possible to respond to every letter and correspondence cannot always be entered into. Please do not send original documents or artwork or stamped and addressed envelopes. Responsibility, legal or otherwise for artwork displayed or not displayed cannot be accepted. I reserve the right to decide, without explanation, what artwork I choose to display here on Mind Out! - Refugee Art®. Please note that what I have written here are my expressions at the time I uploaded them. By the time you read this my thoughts may have moved on.

BTW if you want to see what I look like then you'll have to attend the Friday Art Group at Mind in Mid Herts St Albans but be warned... there's a waiting list and you have to be referred!

Mind Out! - Refugee Art® is unique and original. Beware of imitations. Now, surf on over to Mental Health Survival Guide.

Updated: 10 October 2009